My Thoughts and Feelings

November 7th 2003 I met you for the 1st time and went on our first date, my first thoughts was that we would be friends and nothing more. but we then went out on our 2nd date and our 3rd.. a part of me didn't want to move on from what I was going through and just finalizing my divorce from someone I built my world around. But You showed me that it was ok to move on and have a happier life. Which you helped me do, you asked me to move in and live with you when we were only dating after a month, You didn't want to spend another night apart from me, and I didn't want to stay under my parents roof and be a burden to them so I agreed to move in, Only 2 weeks later did we get engaged and our worlds changed a lot...

After several months of planning our wedding and having the jitters of going into a 2nd marriage, we were standing in my parents living room in front of our friends and family saying our vows. Everything was coming into place for us, We began our journey as husband and wife and at first it seemed weird to be married once again but you assured me everything would be so much better than what I had in my life..

We have been married 3 1/2 years now and everything you have promised me you have kept. You have given me everything you could possibly want to give me and then some..you gave me a home, and a car and also willing to put up with 3 cats and 3 dogs. I am so lucky to have a man who is willing to be my husband and put up with everything that I've said and done.. I know that I'm not perfect just like you're not perfect, I havent' exactly been a sweet wonderful wife.. I've started petty arguements that really should've never been started. I've said things that I have regretted and still yet you're by my side loving me and trying to deal with my tantrums.. and for that I love you.. It's been once said to me that I need to watch what I say and do because if I keep doing what I do.. you'll walk out the door.. and I do sometimes wonder if that's what you're gonna do, and in the back of my mind I do worry that you'd walk out the door. But I know deep down you love me but will you continue to love me years down the road if I keep having my temper tantrums.. I know I need to stop doing that.. and I'm trying to..

You are my heart and soul, and I don't know what I'd do without you. I worry every night and pray that when I wake up the next morning you'd still be there breathing.. You are having a hard time dealing with your diabetes and your blood pressure and I worry every day that you will suffer a bad consequences of not taking care of yourself and I don't know how I can prepare myself for that. I know it's hard for you and a habit that you're struggling to turn around.. Your sister tells me that you're just like your mom and that it will be a hard long road to help you but I know you know that you have family and friends who care for you and love you.. I just pray that something will change and you will be able to get a better handle on your health.. I know that I need to do the same thing before I head down the same path. But I want us both to work at this together..

Honey, I know by now you'll have tears coming down, but I just wanted to you to know how much I really love you and how lucky I am to have someone like you in my life that is sweet, gentle, honest and caring.. because there's only a few that has the same qualities as you do and it's very few and far in between.. so I'm lucky we found each other.. I am looking foward to seeing us celebrating our 25...and then to our 50th anniversary.. there is so much that I have in my head and my heart that I want to say but it's so much that I can't put it all in words to say to you.. But I hope one day I can really put it all down on paper so you can read it over and over of how much I love you...

There's a song that is by Clint Black.. "When I Said I Do" and he sings it duet with his wife Lisa and it exactly says what I feel after all this time of being married and I want to post it here with this that I've said.



Artist/Band : Clint Black
Lyrics: When I said I do (with Lisa Hartman Black)

These times are troubled and thest times are good
And they're always gonna be, they rise and they fall
We take'em all the way that we should
together you and me forsaking them all
Deep int he n ight and by the light of day
It always looks the same, True love always does
And here by your side, or a million miles away
Nothin's ever gonna change the way that I fell,
the way it is, the way that it was

When I said I do, I meant that I will till the end of all time
be faithful and true, Devoted to you
That's what I had in mind when I said I do

Well this old world keeps changing and the world stays the same
For all who came before, and it goes hand and hand
Only you and I can undo all that we became
That makes us so much more, than a woman and a man
And after everything that comes and goes around
Has only passed us by, Here alone in our dreams
I know there's a lonely heart in every lost and found
but forever you and I will be the ones
Who found out what forever means

When I said I do, I meant that I will till the end of all time
be faithful and true, Devoted to you
That's what I had in mind when I said I do
Truer than true, you know that I'll always be there for you
That's what I had in mind, That's what I had in mine,
When I said I do


Honey,I am always going to be faithful and devoted to you, I gave you my heart and soul and we will be together forever through the good and bad times all that matters is that we're together side by side.. I LOVE YOU